Making Hard Decisions with Love

The group text between us six siblings was in full swing from Colorado to Maryland, a whirlwind of different
opinions about what to do regarding our father. Dad had been hallucinating for several months and the decisions
about hospitals and rehabs were wearing on us all. Today, the conversation was about his imminent return to a rehab facility, and which one we should choose. Stakes were high.

We all had different ideas about what “taking care of Dad” looked like. His complicated in-between status didn’t help. He was out of rehab days and not yet approved by Medicaid. Insurance limbo.

My brother: “I spoke with several places, and there’s one I think will work. But they said he can’t apply for a move until his Medicaid goes through.”

My sister: “You didn’t see him….They’ll kill him. I’ve worked in those places and seen it happen.”

Back and forth as quickly as fingers could type, with increasing frequency and disagreement and even rancor.

Until another brother wrote this: “Just want to remind everyone, this is stressful for everybody. Some of us have been working nonstop and still going to the hospital daily. Let’s all take a breath.” We were all trying to watch out for Dad in the best ways we could, both individually and as a group, and that was far more important than our disagreements.