A Life Lesson Learned from Her Son

She was focused on her sonā€™s college graduation ceremony; he was focused on beginning life as an adult and protecting those he loved.

Janet Paige Smith with her son, Laughlin; photo courtesy Janet Paige Smith.

I opened the freezer and shoved in the cakeā€”a sheet cake with my sonā€™s name in red and black frostingā€”the colors of the University of Georgia, where Laughlin, my youngest, would graduate in May.

Except now there would be no graduation because of the pandemic. I had been looking forward to Laughlinā€™s graduation. For a lot of reasons.

Iā€™m a UGA grad too. I didnā€™t attend my graduation ceremony because I was in the midst of wedding preparations and receiving an Army commission as an air defense artillery officer.

ā€œNo graduation!ā€ I said, a bit annoyed that my son, finishing coursework at home, didnā€™t seem bothered.

ā€œI need to focus on my classes and getting a job, Mom,ā€ he said.

Of course. But Laughlin didnā€™t know what he was missing.

Years later, I still regretted skipping my UGA ceremony. I didnā€™t even have a proper high school graduation; with so many credits from attending multiple schools as an Army brat, I went from eleventh grade to college.

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Iā€™d been planning the festivities for Laughlin since January. Iā€™d put together an invitation list, sent save-the-date e-mails to family members so they could start making travel arrangements and searched for a venue near campus for the party. And, of course, Iā€™d ordered the cake.

Every day the pandemic worsened, I prayed for the people whoā€™d lost their jobs, for the elderly dying in nursing homes, for the sick in hospitals with no loved ones by their side. And I prayed for God to bless meā€”er, Laughlinā€”with a graduation.

Deep in my heart, I knew my graduation obsession was out of proportion to what was happening in the world. Still, my thoughts kept returning to my vision of strolling the lush campus as a proud mom, reveling in the crepe myrtles and azaleas, taking family pictures in front of Sanford Stadium.

I checked my e-mail every day for a rescheduled ceremony. Other schools were holding makeup graduations. Why not UGA? But a spike in Covid cases followed a summer lull.

Laughlinā€™s diploma arrived in a black-and-red tube in the mail. I pulled the cake out of the freezer and served it half-heartedly. Laughlin found a job and moved to Atlanta.

Lord, whereā€™s my graduation?

One fall evening, a student called from the UGA alumni fundraising committee. I was delighted to tell him about Laughlinā€™s diploma.

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ā€œDid your son participate in the graduation ceremony last week?ā€ the young man asked.

ā€œWhat ceremony?ā€ I exclaimed.

ā€œThe one at the stadium,ā€ the student said. ā€œTo make up for the cancellation in spring.ā€

I dialed the office of the dean of student affairs. ā€œWhy wasnā€™t I notified?ā€

ā€œMrs. Smith, we sent an announcement to your sonā€™s school e-mail,ā€ said the woman who took my call.

I called up Laughlin. ā€œWhy didnā€™t you tell me?ā€ I asked.

ā€œMom, I stopped checking my school e-mail,ā€ Laughlin said. ā€œIā€™m busy.ā€ He paused. ā€œI did hear about the ceremony. I knew youā€™d make me go, so I didnā€™t say anything. Why would I risk my familyā€™s life for a ceremony? You and Dad are in a vulnerable age group. No way would I do that.ā€

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Laughlinā€™s diploma rested beside the phone. I felt tears in my eyes.

I needed to stop complaining and look at the big picture. My son had finished college and found a job during a time of national crisis. God had answered my graduation prayer. Laughlin had graduated to a new level of maturity. Now he was teaching me.

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